Today I
had a conversation that needed to be had for years. After a while, I kind of
expected it to never happen. Yet it still found a way to come back even against
the odds. I truly think today was a much better time than maybe a year ago,
though. There’s some more separation from the event, allowing the conversation
to be a little bit more civilized. It
wasn’t the birds and the bees talk. That happened years ago, and probably a
little too early thanks to tv and an easy to guess parental lock code.
It was
a talk about who I was and what I’ve done. It’s a lot more difficult to accept
my past when I’m not just ranting on a website. When there’s an actual person
to talk to, to listen to, it’s much harder to convince myself I was always
doing the right thing. Though I think the conclusion was I was wronged just as
much as I wronged others. I can only hope that down the road our two wrong
turns can still take us where we want to go. It’s so easy to see that I was
just trying to be the person I am today, but the timing was just all wrong. I
figured out I wasn’t the type of person that meets their love in high school. I
think a lot of people learned that the hard way. I do still think that my
decisions and blind passion was right, just at the wrong time. That translates
into “I was wrong, but I don’t like being wrong.”
I
probably shouldn’t single out one specific person in my writing, but…Anyway I
was pretty speechless at the time, but now that I’m not on the spot, I can only
wish that you see this. I hope that whenever and wherever it happens, I can
introduce you to my wife, and I can meet your husband. But until then, a chai
and latte every now and again sounds good.
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