Thursday, January 31, 2013

New Tracks



                It feels like my old friends that I see all the time, change all the time. The old friends I have and hardly ever see haven’t changed at all. I just have a feeling that everyone is on a completely different track than what they set out on. I may have a little bit more cargo than before, but I’m still that same 6:03am AMTRAK destined to arrive in Chicago at 9:30. Everyone around is on different paths now and I feel left behind.
                I guess resistance to change is what makes bigots, it’s what makes the ignorance that we scoff at in our history books. So am I any better for choosing to stay true to the person I decided to be when I was teenager? No. I think my morals are little stronger now, and that’s why I feel like I’m better. Maybe it’s just pretentiousness that makes me feel like I need to be the voice of reason with friends that have been acting different.
                In my eyes all I could see is old friends slowly ticking time off their life. Yet they only ever thought of it as an escape in troubling times. And I pressured them to shape up. Times were tough, and I made it harder. As I sit here staring into a framed picture with my best friend and the word “Family” written on the frame, I feel like that I’ve been anything but a brother.
                My point is, how far is too far in intervention? Am I over stepping my bounds and stopping my ever changing best friend from being who she wants to be? Everyone is inconsistent; it’s a  universal laws of personality and communication. I’m no better by pointing out inconsistency. I can’t stop people changing, but I can’t just change with them, how do I prioritize my identity with the people I love? Luckily, this time I wasn't really left behind, but that doesn’t mean I’m safe. Maybe it’s inevitable that old high school friends part ways, but I’ll never give up until the very last railroad tie.

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